Snacks - Salsa that you will absolutely smear all over your naked body and roll around

Snacking is an inevitable part of first-world problem dieting/watching your weight. Most offices have a snacking hierarchy which goes something like this:
- The advanced snacker - this creature supplies an endless and bottomless chocolate/cake/treat stash to "share" with the office under the guise of being a superawesometeamplayer. This will be piled high in a communal area which is perpetually in every employees line of sight.  These snacks are for the sole purpose of disguising the advanced snackers own snacking habits which are off the charts
- The capitulator - this person will make a bee-line for the snack stash on a thrice daily basis, and speaking directly to the snacks, will usually say "oh go on then! GOD!"
- The resistor - this long-suffering creature will hover over the snacks about 7-10 times per day, dancing as if needing to urinate and saying "oh I cant, I really better not. I'm on a diet. I really better not. I can't afford it". They will give in at a ration of 1:1.5 visits (this is my category - note the resistor eats more snacks than the capitulator)
- The saint - this insufferable person will consistently avoid the snack table but will never do so silently - it'll only ever be with a flourish of "I'm not eating dairy right now" or "no, none for me as usual!" or "I'm not undoing my 5 hours in the gym before 7am for a silly chocolate!"

In order to resist the dreaded snack table, I tend to endeavour to keep myself at a perpetual state of fullness to the point of vomiting. Well maybe not quite. But if you want to avoid the chocolate and crap in work and are trying to watch what you eat, a great way to do it is to find a healthy snack which you can indulge in on a massive scale with no repercussions. AND I FOUND ONE THAT IS EPIC.

This motherfucking salsa. My dear lord, its nectar of the Gods themselves, sweet ambrosia. I could drink this by the pint. And there is not one ingredient in this salsa that isn't 100%  super healthy - its basically a salad (but healthier). And you will want to smear it on your naked body. I promise you. If you make it for people they also may start smearing themselves with it, so fair thee warned - choose your victims wisely.

We found this recipe on a brilliant website called bland is boring, and adapted it only slightly. Chef Ali Hassan says "its like meringue in your mouth". He's not wrong. Here's the recipe:

• 1 large ripe tomato

• 1/4 of a medium-sized onion (I sometimes use more)

• 1 garlic clove

• juice of 1/2 lime

• 1/2 pickled jalapeno, plus 1 tsp of pickling juice from the jar (DONT Leave this out. It sounds gross but its not)

• 1/4 cup of fresh coriander, washed well

• 1/2 tsp coarse salt, or to taste

Now fire all those things into a blender and pulse until its as smooth or chunky as you like.

Here's what you can do with this salsa aside from smearing it on your naked body:
- Dip oat cakes / crackers in it
- use it as salad dressing
- Have it as a topping on oat cakes with hummus (this is to DIE for)
- Roast some sweet potato slices with garlic and chili the night before, bring them to work and basically have chips and salsa all day (guilt free). You can roast other types of veg as well
- Dip carrot or celery sticks in it

It looks like this but don't be fooled by its not-so-sexy exterior:

You can also have it with mexican food, indian food, add it to soup, or basically smear it all over yourself. SOMEONE will definitely want to lick it off.
PS - if you dont own a blender, go out and buy one immediately. You can get little blenders in argos for a few quid that will do the job. Theyre cheap and you'll use it loads.

Update on my diet:
Last night I had incredible fajitas with that salsa and guacamole which were epic. I had a green drink for breakfast, a small bowl of porridge with flax seeds for breakfast, homemade lentil and veg soup for lunch. I cycled to work again. Tomorrow I'll be posting about my first aerial hoop class with an incredibly talented athlete Lisette.

I don't feel like crap and am finding staying away from shit food really really easy at the moment. The trick is to spoil yourself with amazing healthy food that you can eat a ton of...
I'm still wearing a circus tent to work. I put on a skirt this morning and looked like I was about 7 months pregnant. Sometimes I'm torn between just accepting my body the way it is and trying to improve it, or using my unhappiness and horror at what it's like now as a motivator. I'm currently doing the latter but its quite tiring... I probably have to go a bit easier on myself.
Anyway - MAKE THIS SALSA NOW. Thanks for reading x