So, two weeks into my new fitness and diet regime! And... I havent lost anything. Not even an inch. Not a peep. I went from a diet of bubbly wine and cheese to a diet of quinoa and kale, and I'm exercising at least 1 hour a day. And I havent lost a jot. I'm feeling demoralised and annoyed and impatient and lazy.
I'm also hormonal and desperately trying not to make a cheese and cake sandwich and roll around on the floor with it.
So in an effort not to become trapped in a shame cycle of demoralisation and despair which will inevitably lead to a cheese coma, tonight I'm visiting my personal trainer. Yes I have a personal trainer. AND ITS CHRIS ROWAN. He's the most muscley man I've ever seen in real life. In fact, he's more like a drawing of a man than a real man. If aliens landed, he's the one they would want to clone. And he's a drag queen. And his house is FULL of muppets. MUPPETS. A creature of such physical perfection can only be a really good person to listen to when it comes to getting in shape and sorting my life out.
Aside from all these amazing things about Chris, I need a personal trainer. This is because I am a horsefly presented with a delectable fresh turd when it comes to my couch. Sure, I'll cycle everywhere and walk the dogs and exercise I have to do in order to get from (a) to (b). HOWEVER. I am allergic to voluntary exercise at the moment. I just find it so hard to motivate myself to do.
I dont know why. It makes me feel great. It makes me skinny. I actually like it when I'm doing it. But for some reason, there is a goblin who lives in my brain, who consistently recommends that I do not do it, and its voice is much louder than mine.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?
So I'm desperately trying to override this absolute laziness and call it out for what it is. And I'm starting an internal battle against the evil goblin. I'm going to punch his lights out.
And my fabulous personal trainer Chris is going to help me. Have I mentioned my trainer is a-fucking-mazing? I think I have. I love him and love hanging out with him, which makes going to exercise so much easier. Plus I'm a people pleaser so being held accountable is something I really need when it comes to shit I dont want to do. Plus he makes us do kickboxing to Donna Summer and Diana Ross.
Here's his website. http://www.hutchfitness.ie/
Go see him. If he makes me into half the chiselled perfection-specimen that he is, I'll literally be the happiest person on the planet. And maybe a little less lazy.
I'm also hormonal and desperately trying not to make a cheese and cake sandwich and roll around on the floor with it.
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| I could really go for one of these right now |
Aside from all these amazing things about Chris, I need a personal trainer. This is because I am a horsefly presented with a delectable fresh turd when it comes to my couch. Sure, I'll cycle everywhere and walk the dogs and exercise I have to do in order to get from (a) to (b). HOWEVER. I am allergic to voluntary exercise at the moment. I just find it so hard to motivate myself to do.
I dont know why. It makes me feel great. It makes me skinny. I actually like it when I'm doing it. But for some reason, there is a goblin who lives in my brain, who consistently recommends that I do not do it, and its voice is much louder than mine.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?
And my fabulous personal trainer Chris is going to help me. Have I mentioned my trainer is a-fucking-mazing? I think I have. I love him and love hanging out with him, which makes going to exercise so much easier. Plus I'm a people pleaser so being held accountable is something I really need when it comes to shit I dont want to do. Plus he makes us do kickboxing to Donna Summer and Diana Ross.
Here's his website. http://www.hutchfitness.ie/
Go see him. If he makes me into half the chiselled perfection-specimen that he is, I'll literally be the happiest person on the planet. And maybe a little less lazy.
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