When I was 21 I walked into my first yoga class. I didnt have a clue what to expect, and wasnt able to get into most of the poses. The teacher, however, was so inspiring, and infectiously enthusiastic for the benefits of yoga, I came back. I shook and shuddered and whimpered my way through thousands of downward dogs until I mastered many of the more complex poses. I was eagerly striving to be able to do all the yoga poses, especially the advanced ones. I had lots of ego wrapped up in striving for this mastery - wanting to be the best, wanting to impress my teacher, wanting to rock the shit out of it. But more recently, my yoga practice has become less about trying to master and more about just going with what feels comfortable. And this is a precise mirror of how I am now trying to approach my life.
When I graduated from University with a Masters, I was determined to get a really great job. Something that sounded important and made me lots of money. A couple of jobs later, and I wanted more qualifications. More letters after my name plz. I began a PHD and spent 3 years striving to master this. After 3 years chasing someone else's dream (trying to be what my family and what I thought society expected of me), I unceremoniously quit. Quitting was incredibly powerful and cathartic, and since then, I have become less and less seduced by mastery and more and more about what feels good and right for me in the moment. I had a realisation that no one really gives a fuck what youre doing, so long as youre happy (not even your grandparents who proudly gush about their grandchildren's PHDs, high flying executive jobs, etc). No one who loves you wants you to be unhappy to prove a point.
While I was on holidays, I googled 'yoga teacher training Ireland' for possibly the 100th time. I found the school Ive looked at time and again. I searched my emails for the contact address. In the past 10 years, I have emailed this school 7 times asking about their next course. Each time, I told myself it was a luxury I couldnt afford, and I needed to focus on my career.
Now I'm 33, and I have been in several great and some not-so-great jobs. Some have sounded fantastic on paper. None have been fulfilling. None have been working towards my passion. I began to ask myself, what is the point of striving to be better and better in a field where you really couldnt give a shit? Sure, I can be good at my job, but who cares if it doesnt make you happy?
Yesterday I made a financial plan with my beautiful and ever-supportive other half, and this week I'll be enrolling to train as a yoga teacher in September. I'm taking another couple of courses along with this and in a years time hope to be out of my desk job and working for myself 100%. I cant wait to finally give myself permission to begin this journey I have been waiting to take for ten years. I'm writing this here because my blog has been a fantastic way for me to hold myself accountable for my dreams and goals. And I'm writing this to make sure my life never becomes about trying to master for the sake of mastery, but rather keeps focus on what is comfortable, what is good, and what I love to do. Fuck the desk job.
When I graduated from University with a Masters, I was determined to get a really great job. Something that sounded important and made me lots of money. A couple of jobs later, and I wanted more qualifications. More letters after my name plz. I began a PHD and spent 3 years striving to master this. After 3 years chasing someone else's dream (trying to be what my family and what I thought society expected of me), I unceremoniously quit. Quitting was incredibly powerful and cathartic, and since then, I have become less and less seduced by mastery and more and more about what feels good and right for me in the moment. I had a realisation that no one really gives a fuck what youre doing, so long as youre happy (not even your grandparents who proudly gush about their grandchildren's PHDs, high flying executive jobs, etc). No one who loves you wants you to be unhappy to prove a point.
While I was on holidays, I googled 'yoga teacher training Ireland' for possibly the 100th time. I found the school Ive looked at time and again. I searched my emails for the contact address. In the past 10 years, I have emailed this school 7 times asking about their next course. Each time, I told myself it was a luxury I couldnt afford, and I needed to focus on my career.
Now I'm 33, and I have been in several great and some not-so-great jobs. Some have sounded fantastic on paper. None have been fulfilling. None have been working towards my passion. I began to ask myself, what is the point of striving to be better and better in a field where you really couldnt give a shit? Sure, I can be good at my job, but who cares if it doesnt make you happy?
Yesterday I made a financial plan with my beautiful and ever-supportive other half, and this week I'll be enrolling to train as a yoga teacher in September. I'm taking another couple of courses along with this and in a years time hope to be out of my desk job and working for myself 100%. I cant wait to finally give myself permission to begin this journey I have been waiting to take for ten years. I'm writing this here because my blog has been a fantastic way for me to hold myself accountable for my dreams and goals. And I'm writing this to make sure my life never becomes about trying to master for the sake of mastery, but rather keeps focus on what is comfortable, what is good, and what I love to do. Fuck the desk job.
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