This salad is my life

Chop: red onion, tomato, avocado, chilli, garlic

Shred: spinach and flat leaf parsley

Process: 6-7 florets of broccoli until the texture of cous cous

Add: puy lentils, chickpeas, cayenne pepper and cumin

Dress: with udos oil and the juice of one lemon, lots of pepper and  a pinch of salt

Mix and eat. 

YUM.

Taco salad and bikinis

I'm going on holidays on Sunday - and I think I might bring a bikini. The thing is, I'm in my early 30s and I still have never worn a bikini. In my whole life. Primarily this is because I never went on a sun holiday until I travelled around Oz, and by the time I got to the good weather (I arrived in Perth in winter, which is a slightly less shitty Galway-in-spring-style weather) I had already consumed VAST VAST quantities of boxed wine and stubbies. I was in NO shape for a bikini. My first ever proper sun holiday I had the fear so no bikini was packed. My last sun holiday was January, and I was MAHOOSIVE and honestly, could not fit into my one piece let alone a bikini.

Now I must be realistic here. I'm still in no shape to be in a bikini. I am not ripped. I have not got a flat stomach. I have rolls and flab and squishiness that I know will be highly unflattering. But the fuck-off-fairy is here, and I've decided to bite the bullet and buy one. I need to fulfil this life long ambition. Ive worked my arse off and eaten clean since January. I'm rewarding myself with not giving a fuck and wearing a motherfucking bikini.

In terms of my itsy bitsy VERY EFFING SLOW progress, Ive been consistently working out with my trainer and at home, and doing a butt-load of yoga every single day which I'm loving. My friend Claire teacher hot yoga in a new studio in Stoneybatter and Ive been popping along there to sweat it out. I'm nearing my goal weight which is fantastic, but even so, my goal feels kinda miles away. But while I'm on this path and Ive gotten almost to where I want to be, I may as well keep going. I have new goals too now: to be able to do 5 x pull ups, to get to 25 push ups in one go, to learn to bench some serious weight, to get a little bit ripped. Now that I'm this far along the path of getting strong, I'd love to see how far I can push myself and what I can achieve. BEASTMODE.

In other news I made a faboosh taco salad last night and thought I'd share the recipe with you.

Taco mix:
1 tin refried beans or red kidney beans
1 bag quorn mince
1 onion
1 pepper
1/2 tin sweetcorn
1 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp coriander
1 tbsp paprika
1/2 tbsp cayenne pepper
1 red chilli or 1/2 tbsp chilli powder
1 tbsp hot sauce
1-2 tbsp tomato paste
4-5 cloves garlic (reduce according to your taste!)
Lime juice x 1 lime
Fresh coriander
Sweet potato (with paprika, garlic, lime juice and olive oil to serve)
Sliced avocado
Low fat yoghurt

1. Fry the onions, add the garlic, peppers and sweetcorn and fry until soft
2. Add the quorn mince and fry for 2-3 mins
3. Add the rest of the ingredients, stirring all the time, and add 1/2 cup water
4. Simmer for 20-30 mins. While simmering, slice sweet potatoes into chips. Take 1/2 the chips and slice them into strips (like in a taco salad). Pop them in a bowl and add 1 tbsp paprika, minced garlic or garlic powder, and olive oil. Mix them up and bake in a hot oven for 10-15 mins, turning mid-way. Add lime juice 2-3 mins before theyre done.
5. Add fresh lime juice and fresh coriander to the taco mix, and serve with the sweet potato strips on top, chips on the side, some yoghurt and sliced avocado. Oh and some salsa. YOM.

Cauliflower rice is actually amazing - THIS IS NOT A JOKE.

For the last few months I've been (in the evenings) carb and (all the time except for cheats) dairy free, which meant I've been relying a lot on curries and other Asian dishes which normally have rice with them. There is something so satisfying about rice despite how utterly bland it is. I have been desperate for a no-carb alternative to rice, and kissed a few mealy, wormy, disgusting rice substitute frogs along the way. Then I discovered cauliflower rice.
HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. 

First of all, unlike rice which is a big fat empty carby will turn to sugar nothing food, cauliflower is VERY good for you. After citrus fruits, cauliflower is your next best natural source of vitamin C. It's massively anti-inflammatory. Cauliflower is also packed with fibre, folic acid, and potassium contents. Cauliflower is like winning the antioxidant and phytonutrient lottery. Some studies have shown it to be cancer-fighting. Its an all-round good guy.

So here's how to make cauliflower rice. Step 1: put a head of cauliflower into a food processor and whizz. Step 2: put into microwavable dish and steam in the microwave for 7 minutes. Step 3: Add anything you like. Thats it. It is so ridiculously simple. I added salt, pepper, Udo's oil and lemon juice. My OH suggested pilau rice mix would be nice to add to it as well, which I'll try when we're eating Indian food next! You can fry it too if you're feeling saucy. And if you're feeling VEE saucy, throw a load of sharp cheddar on top of it and pop it in the oven OHGOD.

I'm incorporating cauliflower into my diet more by having cauliflower rice, and I'm going to try this recipe as a side, this recipe next because it looks decadent and amazing (but probably a cheat night meal...) and this recipe sans the lamb because OMGYOM.

I thought I'd share the recipe for a super simple dish I had last night and has been a regular staple in our meal rotation for years. I adapted the recipe from one on BBC by Bill Granger, the smug, self satisfied, Aussie c**t. That guy and his aryan children and perfect Sydney middle class life can go to hell.

Could you get any more smug Bill Granger with your perfect kitchen.

I'll share what I used to have with it before I was going carb-less too - pitta chips. They're LOVELY. My OH made a tzatziki to go with this which was gorgeous!

Chickpea and tomato chilli

Ingredients

• 2 tbsp coconut oil
• 1 red onion, finely sliced
• 3 garlic cloves, finely sliced
• 2 teaspoons freshly grated ginger - or use Garlic and Ginger paste from the Asian supermarket - an amazing time saver!
• 1 or 2 green chillies, to taste, seeded and finely chopped
• 1 tsp sea salt
• 2 X 400g/14oz tins of chickpeas, drained
• 80ml/2¾fl oz water
• 1 tsp cumin / 1 tsp corriander / 1 tsp cayenne pepper
• 1 tsp turmeric
• freshly ground black pepper
• 500g/17½oz cherry tomatoes
• 2 tbsp tomato paste or puree 
• 100g/3½oz baby English spinach leaves

To serve

• plain yoghurt or tzatziki
• pitta bread
• olive oil
• salt and freshly ground black pepper
• paprika - LOADS
• Cauliflower rice

Preparation method

1. Heat a large deep frying pan over a medium to high heat.
2. Add the oil, onion, garlic, ginger, chillies and salt and cook for five minutes (or until the onions are soft) being careful to stir regularly.
3. Add the chickpeas, 80ml/2¾fl oz water, cumin, turmeric and pepper and cook for five minutes or until the water evaporates.
4. Add the tomatoes and tomato puree and cook for another ten-fifteen minutes to soften, adding more water if it dries out.
5. Remove from the heat and check for seasoning.
6. Stir through the spinach and top with yoghurt/tzatziki.
7. To make the pitta crisps, cut the pitta bread into triangley bits and drizzle with olive oil, salt, pepper and paprika.
8. Bake in a moderate oven for 10-12 minutes or until crisp.

Aside from my new love affair with cauliflower, all else is going ok. My journey towards having a flat stomach (the ultimate goal!!!) is slow and plodding. I'm impatient and my resolve gets tested. But every day I show up to the mat. I push a bit harder than the day before. I add a little more movement into my day. I try new exercises and things to do to keep active. I exercise for at least 1-2 hours per day. I strictly eat according to my diet except for 2 cheat meals per week which I am LIVING FOR HUNTY. 

Sometimes I find the impatience is overwhelming and I feel like I'm not getting anywhere, so my trainer Chris told me to take progress photos (this was after a nasty bout of PMS and a run-in with a scales). Progress photos are ugly pictures you take of yourself in your knickers in front of a mirror so you can see, like PHYSICALLY SEE, the changes to your body over time. This has been helpful because when I think nothing is happening and life is a mess and I may as well have a wheel of cheese, I look back to the first photo I took and realise that I have changed. And slowly, slowly catchy monkey. And all that noise. (now fast forward to skinny plz.)