For the love of chocolate shakes

I used to be obsessed with chocolate shakes. My friend Jessica got me hooked on them back in college, and Snackbox in Galway had the best chocolate shake going in the late 90s which became a bit if a habit every time we met, we'd have to go get a chocolate shake. Then we'd go hang in her house and pretend it was the early 90s and that Kurt had never died. Once we were incredibly stoned in Jessica's house on Sligo, and forced our friend Colin to drive about 10 miles to get us chocolate shakes to his disgust. We were incredibly unhappy and deeply unimpressed when he returned with shitty fucking strawberry shakes... so much so that we tried to make them chocolate by adding chocolate sauce. Please note that the addition of chocolate sauce does not transform a shitty strawberry shake into a mighty chocolate one.

Anyway this isn't quite a chocolate shake from Snackbox, but seriously this tastes like the second best chocolate shake I've ever had. I'm having it today as a recovery drink after a long walk and some intense Kettlebells after which I am fucked.

I'd love to hear what other people have as recovery drinks as this is all kinda new to me, even when I weight trained before I never did the protein shake thing...

Delicious shake with bonus background dog

Ingredients:1 scoop chocolate protein powder
1 Cup almond milk
2 tbsp almond butter (substitute any nut butter here)
1 banana (I used a frozen banana to make it all cold and icecreamy)

Blend that baby and drink!

How to usurp Scumbag Brain.

Aside from all my other neuroses, I have some sort of weird deprivation complex. I am always a little bit afraid that I might be hungry. I have a thing where I have to finish everything on the plate. If someone offers me food, I never really say no. I hate quitting things, in case I miss them or need them down the line. I HATE the feeling of being deprived of something and if I am, I obsess over it. Scumbag Brain is my brain, all the fucking time. And I know a lot of people have to work hard to overcome Scumbag Brain in order to lose weight or maintain any kind of fitness regime. So I thought I'd do a post about how to kill off Scumbag Brain who is trying to sabotage you.

So in my weight loss and fitness journey, I have had to trick my brain into believing that I am not depriving myself of anything in order to make myself believe that everything is ok and its not a famine (I did the same when I was smoking and tapered off so gradually, Scumbag Brain didnt even notice). Back many moons ago when I was in college, I had a horrible relationship with food, and lets just say I plain old stopped eating for a while. I wont go into the details, but it was a very hard couple of years. By my third year I managed to sort myself out and began eating properly and taking care of myself, but I really screwed up my metabolism. I also developed a fear of being hungry from having a long time when I was, literally, starving. So in January, when I decided I needed to change my eating habits and start exercising, I had to do some mental acrobatics and confuse my little reptilian brain into not being scared off by the process, and not to be sabotaging me all over the place as per ususal.

The first mentality I had to get into was 'I am not depriving myself of anything'. This really, really helps to keep me on the straight and narrow. I can eat like a bird for a week but then I fall off the wagon and have a pizza, and Scumbag Brain will tell me Ive failed and there's no point in trying anymore.

The second thing I did was give myself permission to quit quitting things, so Scumbag Brain wouldn't notice anything was the matter. I decided I would get to losing weight by adding things to my life, and not quitting anything. Nothing was out of bounds.

I thought I'd share some of the things Ive 'added' to my life instead of quitting. This means that when it comes to the time of day where you'd crave chocolate, youve just had a banana smoothie and a huge lunch, and you dont really want the chocolate. Or youve just worked out for an hour and you look at a glass of wine thinking - I am choosing not to have this as it will undo all my hard work. My new motto is - no quitting - and that just adding good stuff to any diet and lifestyle will lead to ultimately making much better choices.

A list of things I've added to my life in order to quit quitting and usurp Scumbag Brain
1. Eat little and often between, then eat three good sized meals with plenty of protein and veg, and fewer carbs than normal (but compensating with extra protein and veg)
2. Add loads of vegetables to every meal. Silly amounts. Have a normal portion of your stir fry, chilli or whatever, then roast a load of sweet potato or peppers or broccoli and eat that alongside it until you're stupidly stuffed. Scumbag Brain doesnt really know the difference if youre binging on pizza or on vegetables...

3. Add exercise - even as little as 15-30 mins per day - and you'll find yourself not wanting to undo your hard work and taking more care of eating clean.
4. Add water - drink shit tons of water all day, you'll feel way fuller and it'll help keep your metabolism on track.

5. If you have a sweet tooth, use maple syrup or agave. Maple syrup is gorgeous and full of B vitamins, its much healthier than those artificial sweeteners which are poisonous if you ask me...
6. Drink green smoothies. If you don't have a high speed blender, you mightn't like to blend your own smoothies with spinach or kale, so add a green powder like spirulina, green barley, blue-green algae etc to some orange juice, bananas and berries. Greens will alkalize your body, give you a fantastic protein kick, and fill you up. They're a great way of shoe-horning in your 5-a-day if you don't like eating fruit and veg. Also, if you're doing strength training, replace your water in your protein shake with a green drink and get way more nutrition into your body.

7. Eat nuts. Nuts are filling, packed with protein and an amazing pre or post workout snack. If you dont like eating whole nuts, have nut butter. Eating nuts and nut butters before and after working out mean you wont have a massive sugar crash when you're done, and the protein helps with muscle recovery too.
8. Never leave the house without a banana. Because bananas are amazing and incredibly filling and perfect for making Scumbag Brain think youve just had something sugary.
9. Ive waxed lyrical about them on the blog before, but any time I feel even the slightest hunger pang, once I know I'm hydrated I eat an oat cake with hummus, salsa, almond butter or any other spread/dip.

And finally...

10. Ok I lied. I have given something up. I have given up listening to Scumbag Brain. Every time I hear a Scumbag Brain internal voice, I call it a scumbag and move on. This means no more beating myself up about being fat. No more feeling weak or telling myself I can't do it. I've also given up monitoring my weight loss so closely, instead giving myself kudos and a pat on the back every day for showing up to work out and for eating well. I'm starting to notice my body change, but more importantly, I have been noticing my mind change much more quickly... I'm happier. And at the end of the day, who gives a shit what you look like when you are healthy, strong and happy. And my brain isn't *quite* as much of a scumbag these days.

Frozen m*^&%rf*&^$ng bananas

Ive been a bit out of commission recently because Ive had one of those fucking awful viruses everyone has thia time of year.

Because my stomach wasnt feeling great, my usual breakfast smoothie of kale and spinach and fruit sounded a bit *barf* to me. And so I decided to try something Ive been meaning to try for ages. I froze some bananas. Ive read on lots of evangelical raw food blogs that frozen bananas are basically ice cream. These are from the people that think nutritional yeast flakes can adequately replace cheese. These people are not to be trusted.

But today I decided to make a nut and banana smoothie to see what all the 'frozen bananas are necter of the Gods' stuff is all about.
AND IT TURNS OUT THAT THEY ARE CORRECT.
This is absolutely hands down one of the nicest, most desert-like smoothies Ive ever had. Next time Im not going to bother with the almond milk and just go straight in there for some ice cream-y banana soft serve.

First off - chop your bananas and pop them in a ziplock bag in the freezer overnight or for a couple of hours.

Ingredients:
Frozen bananas (1-2)
1 large tablespoon of almond butter
1 glass of almond milk
1 tsp vanilla (optional)
1 tbsp chia seeds

Put all this into a food processor, whizz and then enjoy. You can omit the almond milk or use cows or soy milk. Also, if youre bodybuilding or using this as a recovery drink, I bet you chocolate protein powder would bring this baby to a new level of awesome.

Here's some more recipes for one-ingredient ice-cream using frozen bananas.

A little update: Ive lost a couple more inches and Im feeling strong as hell compared to when I started. I have teeny biceps now. My diet has been largely in check and Ive been eating completely clean, and vegan except for cheat meals and the ocassional poached egg with breakfast. I started kettlebell training which is serious business in terms of being fucking hard at first. I cant say enough good things about having a personal trainer to work with for motivation, for pushing yourself beyond where you think your limits are, and for trying new things. Speaking of which, Ive signed up to a 10 week bellydancing course with my friend Stacey who is one of the most amazing bellydancers ever. I'm really nervous and hoping no one will actually need to *see* my belly in class... but I'm excited too. I love to dance but Ive never had the courage to take a full class.

Onwards and upwards, kids.

Hanger. And a change of diet. And Chilli.

I posted a while ago that Ive been visiting the amazing Hutch Fitness for personal training sessions. Ive been upping my cardio and training at home as well as training with Chris twice a week. Ive also completely changed the way I eat. As someone who has spent years struggling with a balance between eating right and exercise, I thought I knew how to listen to my body. But I really lost sight of what was good for me recently. Something that completely floored me, was when I produced a food diary to Chris at one of the first sessions we had, he told me I was chronically under eating. It made sense. I had been struggling with feeling hungry a lot. I had hated exercise because it made me shaky and weak. I had spells of crankiness and feeling hangry, and by 7pm when it came to dinner, I was ravenous and over ate completely.

So Ive been eating a much bigger breakfast and lunch, snacking more often on the right things, and eating a small dinner. And Ive never felt better! I'm actually shocked at how much easier it is to exercise because I'm not on the verge of a hypoglycemic coma. I'm feeling much fuller when it comes to any meal because I'm snacking and having protein & veg shakes in between meals, and I'm never over eating. I've been grazing on the following between meals:
- Fruit
- Oat cakes and hummus
- Green drinks with protein (hemp & spirulina)
- Natasha's living foods raw onion and kelp crackers (these are made with sprouted flax seeds and veg and are nutritional powerhouses and they taste incredible)

Ive been having a big meal at lunchtime which takes a lot of getting used to but its brilliant to have a big feed to look forward to during the day and means I have zero afternoon slump. For dinner, I'll make a large portion of food, eat a small amount and bring a 'dinner' sized portion in for my lunch the next day. 

One of my favourite things to eat is chilli. Before I give you the recipe I have to say I have lost a couple of inches on my new eat lots and exercise lots diet. This is really helping me keep on track - it was very demotivating at first to have lost nothing!

5 reasons chilli is the absolute shit.

1. Chilli is incredibly filling so you dont need a huge portion to fill you up and is low-GI so it slowly releases energy

2. Chilli is seriously spicy and the one I make is packed with cayenee pepper. Here's why you need to start putting cayenne pepper in everything: http://www.webmd.com/diet/news/20110427/cayenne-pepper-may-burn-calories-curb-appetite

3. Chilli is full of protein, and if youre working out youre going to need that protein to recover and build new muscle

4. You can jam pack a chilli with loads of different types of veg so its nutritionally dense

5. It tastes absolutely decadent.

My recipe for chilli (this is cobbled together from a few different online recipes, my other half's recipe and a bit of trial and error. This one is amazing.

The World's Most Amazing Chilli

Ingredients:
1-1.5lbs of mince (I use quorn)
1 large white onion
1 red pepper
1 stick celery (optional)
5 cloves garlic
1 tin sweetcorn
1 large jar tomato passata
1 tin kidney beans / 1 tin refried beans (or both if youre feeling saucy)
1 tbsp cayenne pepper
1 tbsp cumin
1 tbsp coriander
1 tbsp paprika
1 tsp oregano
1 bay leaf (remove before serving)
250mls good full bodied red wine
1 pint vegetable (or beef) stock
3 drops liquid smoke (optional - but this lends a beautiful smokey kick)
2 tbsps hot sauce
1 tsp tabasco
Salt and pepper
Juice of 1 - 2 limes
Fresh corriander to serve

1. Fry the garlic onion and pepper for 5 mins, then add the mince. Cook for a further 5 mins until the mince defrosts
2. Add the passata, beans, and all other ingredients. Cover and lower the heat for one hour.
3. Pour into bowls, serve with some salsa, guacamole, tortilla chips, or rice etc. I have it on its own with home made corn tortilla chips and salsa.
4. Rejoice in flavour country.

Super hydration

I had completely forgotten about how important drinking water is. Apparently even if you are only 1%dehydrated it can significantly lower your metabolism. So I'm hoovering in the water at the moment, 3-4l litres per day. I'm pissing like crazy... FYI. A lovely alternative to water is the super hydrating coconut water. It's got the added benefit of being a great recovery drink after exercise because it's full of electrolytes and minerals. Coconut water is actually used in some countries to replace blood loss when no blood transfusion is available, as it is accepted so well by the human body.
Go team hydration!!!

Salad you will want to mainline, plus 5 tips to make every salad incredible

I'm a salad geek. I love love love salad, but I'm very fussy about it. Salad to me should be a feast, a beautiful, flavourful celebration of raw veggies and certainly not a chore. But I have discovered there are a number of secrets to a really, really good salad - i.e. salad you will crave, and love, and relish - not salad you will force down your neck because you're trying to be virtuous. Here are five life lessons I've learned, gleaned from years of trial and error when it comes to salad, from experimenting, from travel, and from recipe books, restaurants and endless blogs. 

5 tips to make every salad sexual:
1. Use fresh herbs. I was always of the mind that fresh herbs are either a nice addition to a meal like curry or pasta, or a garnish. But fresh herbs as one of the main ingredients of a salad is a secret I learned from the incredible Denis Cotter of Cafe Paradiso - and I haven't looked back. Denis Cotter is the Heston Blumenthal of vegetarian food. He is a vegetable hacker. As an aside, if youre ever in Cork, you absolutely must visit his restaurant. If youre a vegetarian, his books are bibles. I'll post my adaptation of one of his incredible salads another time, but I learned from him that fresh herbs can be the main basis of a salad (instead of relying on limp, anaemic lettuce leaves). Use huge quantities of fresh herbs like basil, fresh coriander, flat leaf parsley, mint or herb parsley to enliven any salad. Fresh herbs have potent health properties too, full of iron, antioxidants, blood cleansing, and a host of other benefits including boasting anti-inflammatory properties. The salad I'm making in today's blog is a perfect example of how to let fresh herbs be the star of your salad.
2. Make your own dressing. See this crap?

Please make a pledge to yourself never to ever use this dirge water ever again. Please. It is the salad killer. It will make your salad lifeless, wilty, chemically, and plain old vomitey. Ban them from your life if you have any respect for yourself. There is a very simple formula to any salad dressing and you can make your own in 1-3mins, for half the cost of these disgusting bottles of mucal gak. The formula is as follows:

Oil + Acidity + Optional other flavour + salt and pepper

So for example, olive oil + balsamic vinegar + dijon mustard + 1 clove of garlic + salt and pepper

or, rapeseed oil + apple cider vinegar + lemon juice + salt and pepper

or, one of my favourites: olive oil + lemon juice + honey + wholegrain mustard + lots of pepper

You can have lots of fun experimenting, and make wonderful flavour combinations which will make your salads sing. Jamie Oliver is fantastic for salad dressing recipes. You can get as creative as you like, adding chili, herbs, avocado (for creaminess), you name it. But please for the love of god and salads, make your own goddamn dressing.

3. Keep it simple. Use 3-4 brilliant, fresh, in-season ingredients and let them do the talking. Allow the flavours of each ingredient a chance to shine. I used to make these crazy concoctions with every vegetable I've ever heard of all piled in together. The result is a clusterfuck of flavour, where your beautiful, ripe tomatoes are drowned out by the myriad of other ingredients they are competing with.

4. Chop your veg properly. I have a few weird texture issues with food, one of which is I actually cannot even cope a little bit with huge lumps of vegetables. Chinese food is anathema to me, with their huge, slimey unchopped mushrooms staring up at me from the tray. But Ive found that salads are much easier to eat and the flavours are much easier to combine when you chop your ingredients finely. But perhaps that's just me...

5. Ditch the lettuce. Well, at least ditch this stuff: 

This is good for you, sure. But it is boring. If you want to have a leaf-base for your salad, I recommend trying some of the wonderful, tastier, often healthier alternative leaves out there. Some of my favourites are rocket, spinach, red chard, and watercress. Big, lettuce-heavy salads smeared in greasy shop-bought dressing is the reason why most people do not get very excited at the mention of salad. 

I'd like to share the recipe for one of my favourite salads in the world, tabbouleh. Tabbouleh is a Lebanese dish which dates back to the middle ages and beyond. Its an ancient dish using qadb, or fresh herbs, as the main ingredient. You might be familiar with tabbouleh as this cous cous or bulghur wheat salad in non-Lebanese restaurants, or worse, in the "salad" section of spar:

This bears little resemblance to the traditional lebanese tabouleh, which uses very little bulghur (never cous cous) and MOUNTAINS of fresh herbs. It is utterly addictive.

Tabbouleh Ingredients 

• 4 bunches of flat leaf parsley chopped finely
• 1 bunch of fresh green mint chopped finely
• 4 inches cucumber chopped finely 
• 2 medium sized tomatoes, diced
• 1 small white onion chopped finely
• 1/4 cup of fine Burghul (I use Quinoa as an alternative) - do not use cous cous!!
• 1/3 cup of quality olive oil (I often use less if I'm watching my weight)
• Freshly squeezed lemon juice - 2-3 lemons
• 1/2 to 2/3 teaspoon of salt
• 1/3 teaspoon of Lebanese 7-Spices*

* Lebanese 7-Spices contain equal proportions of the following ground spices: Allspice, Black Pepper, Cinnamon, Ground Cloves, Ground Nutmeg, Fenugreek, Powdered Ginger (I generally use some or all of these bought seperately. Be sparing with nutmeg and cinnamon if youre doing this yourself and not via a lebenese 7 spice! Even just some all spice will do if you dont have these ingredients in your cupboard...)

First, cook your grain. I use quinoa which you mix 1 part quinoa to 5 parts water. I put it on at the beginning, on ususally by the time I have everything chopped its cooked. I pop it in the fridge to cool. Chop all the flat leaf parsley (I use a full large bag from tesco) and mint very finely. I use a loose chiffonade method which yields a lovely result (not as neat as this link, but generally in this ball park!). Place the herbs spread out on a plate on top of a sheet of kitchen roll to dry out. 

Chop the cucumber, and place on a sheet of kitchen roll, with another sheet on top to absorb the moisture. Chop the onion and do the same. Finally, finely dice the tomato and repear the kitchen paper step. At this stage you should have 4 plates of veg with kitchen roll.

At this point youre probably getting completely put off by all this bullshit drying out and kitchen paper nonsense. 

You dont have to do this, but it makes for a much nicer salad when all the ingredients are dry when mixed, and the dressing forms the only moisture. Now make the dressing - simply combine the oil, lemon juice, seasoning and spices and whisk with a fork.

Then pour all your ingredients into a bowl except the salad dressing and mix well.

Once mixed, Tabbouleh gets soggy rather quickly, so it’s best if you mix it immediately before serving. Moreover, make sure that when you add the chopped veggies to the mixing bowl, that they are dry of moisture and juice otherwise your salad turns soggy. Ideally you want the juice in the salad to be mostly from the lemon juice and olive oil.

Now serve! I had this with home made falafel, tahini dressing and mountains of tabbouleh. You can have this shit with anything though - its amazing as a side for pasta, with chips, pizza, lasagne, anything really. Bring it in for lunch the next day and sometimes its even better (despite being a little soggy). MUCH HEALTH. SO WOW.