Yesterday, my OH and I were vegging on the couch watching Catfish, the MTV show where people are baited online by some randomer pretending to be someone completely different. (Its incredibly brilliant bad TV, and a surefire hangover cure). Anyway, the guy on the show was talking about the girl he fell in love with, and was describing nothing about her, but only what she did for him. "I love her because she makes me happy, she tells me she loves me, she's there for me, I dont feel lonely anymore, I have someone to care about, blah blah". We started a conversation about how when youre in love with someone, you really should be in love with them because of their unique qualities and not because you are lonely and want to fill the existential void in your life that sitting alone with only your own company late at night brings.
Being alone is something that always terrified me since I was a kid. I woke up in the middle of the night when I was about 5 or 6, and my mum and dad were not in the house. They had popped out to get a bottle of wine or something and both of them went for the spin. They were gone for about 5 minutes and when they came back, my face was pressed against the tear-stained glass and I was beside myself. I needed constant company as a baby, as a child, and right through to growing up. I never minded sharing a room. I liked the comfort of the sound of another human being breathing and being there at night.
When I was 21, I made a decision to travel on a round the world ticket by myself. More so than anything else, I felt it was time for me to learn to be by myself. I was going to have to live with myself for a very long time, and I may as well like my own company in the process. The day I left I was in a massive panic on the plane. What have I done? Where am I going? What the hell am I doing? But gradually, over time, I liked it. I was actually rarely alone on this journey, but I had the freedom to choose to be alone any time I liked. I could leave town at any moment and move on to the next adventure. I was in full control of every decision and I actually enjoyed not having to compromise, and the freedom that came with it. I spent a month in New Zealand where I barely spoke to a soul. I hiked endlessly, wrote diaries into the night, and did a lot of soul searching and a little bit of crying. But you know what? It cured me of the loneliness. I knew I never had to feel that way again. Because I was ok with my own company. Even if, at the end of my life, it was just me and a notebook and someplace to go walking in the woods, I'd be ok. And when you do fall in love after realising that youre ok with just being by yourself, it changes how you love someone. You welcome them into your life as a wonderful addition, rather than a plug for a hole you feel inside.
When I was travelling I learned to love lots of different new and different types of foods, spices, flavours and textures. Travel does wonderful things to broaden the palette. Fijian food was my favourite - with taro and cassava and kumala piled high on the plate, with coconut milk before and kava before and after, with its muddy, sedative drunkenness soothing you to sleep. Recently, I've been trying to experiment with different cuisines from around the world that I have never tried. My favourite over the last while has been Ethiopian food.
Ethiopian food is a smokey, thick, arid and densely flavoured cuisine (from what Ive tried). You gotta love your big, balls out flavours to love this. The curry I'll share with you now was my favourite - you can use chicken or meat, I used quorn chicken but equally you could use chickpeas or beans. I made these with injera (an adapted version of the Ethiopian injera: a sour pancake). I also made some ayib on the side, which was a simple mix of equal parts cottage cheese (curds dried), greek yoghurt and lemon juice. You definitely need yoghurt to cool it down. Dont scrimp on the spice - its seems like loads, and it is. Just follow the recipe.
Dont be scared of all the ingredients. Buy them from any asian store, and you WILL use them again and again. This recipe is absolutely gorgeous and so easy.
Doro Wat with InjeraIngredients:
3 lbs. 1 inch cubes of quorn chicken
2 large onions, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced (I used a pre-minced garlic from the asian store)
50g butter (I used this for a once-off, in future I'll be swapping this with coconut oil or something healthier! and less of it...)
1 cup red wine
2 cups water
2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. ground cardamom
2 Tb. garam masala
1/3 cup hot smoked paprika - this seems LOADS. Use it all.
1 Tb. crushed red pepper
2 tsp. fenugreek seeds
1 Tb. dried thyme
3 Tb. tomato paste
1 Tb. sugar (I used brown)
1 lime, juiced
3 lbs. 1 inch cubes of quorn chicken
2 large onions, chopped
4 cloves garlic, minced (I used a pre-minced garlic from the asian store)
50g butter (I used this for a once-off, in future I'll be swapping this with coconut oil or something healthier! and less of it...)
1 cup red wine
2 cups water
2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. ground cardamom
2 Tb. garam masala
1/3 cup hot smoked paprika - this seems LOADS. Use it all.
1 Tb. crushed red pepper
2 tsp. fenugreek seeds
1 Tb. dried thyme
3 Tb. tomato paste
1 Tb. sugar (I used brown)
1 lime, juiced
For the Injera Recipe:
4 cups gram flour (you can use spelt or any other flour substitute)
2 Tb. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
4 cups club soda
1 cup white or rice vinegar
Oil for pan
2 Tb. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
4 cups club soda
1 cup white or rice vinegar
Oil for pan
Directions:
For the Doro Wat: Place all the ingredients, minus the lime juice, in a slow cooker or just a big crock pot/ceramic dish with lid and cover - I didnt have a lid so I used tinfoil. Cook for 2-3 hours. Then mash the quorn chicken to shreds with a potato masher (or the bottom of a ladle.) Stir in the lime juice and keep warm.
For the Injera Recipe: In a large bowl, mix flour, salt and baking soda together. Whisk in the club soda until smooth. Then add the vinegar and whisk.
Heat a large frying pan over medium heat. Pour oil on a paper towel and wipe the skillet with the oiled paper towel.
Using a scoop, pour batter into the skillet creating a 6 inch circle. Carefully swirl the pan around to thin out the batter until it measures 8-9 inches across.
Cook for 1 minute, then using a large spatula, flip the Injera over and cook another minute. Remove from the skillet and stack on a plate.
Repeat with remaining batter. The Injera will seem slightly crisp in the pan, but will soften immediately when placed on the plate.
Once finished cooking the Injera. Cut the circles in half with a pizza cutter, roll into tubes and stack. Keep warm until ready to serve.
Serve the Doro Wat and Injera together, tearing piece of Injera and using it to pick up the Doro Wat.
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