My diet and workout regime... all work and no play makes me something something...

A few people were asking me to post my current diet and workout regime so this might be a bit of a boring post unless you are on a health kick as well. My biggest vices are delicious white carbs and red wine. I havent given up wine altogether but I'm drinking sweet FA at the moment. Refer to my previous post about my scumbag brain that I have to trick into thinking that I'm not giving up anything... so I tend to have really small amounts of both (barely worth having!) just so it doesnt kick up a stink about feeling deprived and then go on a binge.

I had to keep a food diary for my trainer so he can review where I am at right now, so I thought I could share it with you. I'm working pretty hard physically at the moment so a little treat on my 'cheat meals' is fine, but otherwise, my diet looks like this:

Breakfast: Green blended drink (kale, spinach, apple, lemon, hemp protein, chai seeds, cucumber, celery)
10 am: Porridge with almond butter, almond milk and maple syrup or green scrambled eggs (eggs with hemp protein powder) and roasted tomatoes or poached egg on spelt toast
Lunch: Large salad with carrot, brocoli, tuna, tomato, hazelnuts or leftovers from dinner the night before (small amount of carbs here usually)
6pm: Coconut milk and whey protein powder shake
Dinner: Yesterday was falafel with tabouleh, tonight is a light yellow curry with no potato and no rice

I'm on less than 10% carbs at the moment, probably more like 5%. I'm off dairy at the moment too which is not really a problem as I was vegan for years so would eat a largely vegan diet normally anyway. When I have a cheat meal, all I want is ONE GIANT CARB. I had Indian the other night and has a giant masala dosa, which is a potato curry pancake. Practically a carb inside a carb. COVERED in yoghurt. I was in heaven. My other cheat meals usually HAVE to involve cheese. OMGCHEESE.

In terms of working out, I'm doing a mix of low intensity duration cardio and HIIT.

I cycle for over 1 hour a day, I power walk the dogs for 30 mins - 1hr. I have been doing 20-30 mins HIIT with either Zuzka Lite or Jillian Michaels using her 30 day shred programme which is HARD AS HELL! Jillian is a power lesbian who screams at you, I happen to quite enjoy this...

Then in the evening I have usually a 30 min weight protocol (I'm on a three day split at the moment meaning I do a different workout every day for three days and then start at workout one again on day four). I do this six days per week.

I cool down with 20 mins yoga. Ive been occasionally going to hot yoga classes when I have time, and doing Bellydance classes for 2 hours per week as an extra.

When I get to my goal weight and I'm just in maintenance mode, I'll be able to increase carbs and re-introduce dairy. I'll probably be able to reduce the intensity of the workouts as well - probably doing HIIT 3 days a week instead of 4-5, etc. I cant wait!

I've got quite a way to go from here, at the moment I'm desperately trying to trust the process, keep my chin up, and work hard. I've lost 5 inches from my hips and waist so I'm pretty happy that I am progressing and it is actually working, even though lots of days I just feel like flinging myself on the ground and going to sleep.

Because I clearly hate myself and want myself to be in pain (I'm blaming Jillian Michaels) I really want to run Hell and Back this summer - if anyone has read this far I'm assuming you have some level of interest in fitness and might be up for doing it with me? I'll definitely need a companion... to dig me out of the mud when I go for a nap... face down.....

Hot m%+¿~¥f%'€¥¢ing yoga

It began with my very lovely and fabulous friend Claire saying casually to me that she was teaching at a yoga studio in Dublin, and was taking a yoga class herself there the next day, and would I like to come along. I jumped at the chance of joining a class where I knew and trusted the teacher, and so I bounded along like a springtime bunny to meet her after work. I started yoga 14 years ago - FOURTEEN. Man I'm old. The first ever yoga class I took was with a fabulous South African guru-style teacher who lived on a planet of his own and was a friend of mine at the time. Myself and my cousin Shane went along to his class and spent most of it pissing ourselves laughing at his banter which was largely focussed on how we can all abandon psychadelics because yoga was going to bring us to such crazy places in our minds, man. He was off the hook hilarious. We'd all go for a feed of pints afterwards (this ended up being the main attraction of yoga - the pints after). I practiced daily even after our guru moved away (He's now teaching T'ai Chi in Thailand and, I'd bet, eating mushies for breakfast), and kept up the practice on and off since then. I always come back to yoga, its my happy place. I started out in Ashtanga, a vigorous form of yoga that is pretty challenging compared to some of the more chilled out, meditative forms. For me, I dont really want to ever sit and watch my breath - it doesnt suit me. I wrestled with meditation my whole life and I just cant do it. But I can when I'm doing yoga. I distract myself from myself, which after many years reading many spiritual books and meditation guides, is the very essence of meditation in a nutshell. I tried a few other forms but today, I was about to attend a Bikram studio for the first time. The class was a Vinyassa flow which is the toughest workout you can get in yoga - but in a hot room like Bikram (40 degrees Celsius). As I had so much experience in yoga, I thought I'd be grand. HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

I arrived and rented a towel and a mat, already in my yoga gear having changed before leaving work. (This is an important detail). Claire set up my mat behind her and I followed her tentatively into the studio. The first thing that hits you is the wall of heat. Its like when you step out of a plane to a tropical climate - the air is thick and stifling and wet. I sat on my mat and eyeballed the door. There were approx 3 rows of mats between me and the door. People would notice if I tried to escape. The class was going to be 90 mins long, I had been in the room approx 3 minutes and I thought I might puke from the heat. I had no fucking clue how I was going to last and started to predict what would happen. I'mgoingtofaint. I'mgoingtovomit. I'mgoingtorunoutoftheroomscreaming. Clairewillneverbeallowedteachinthistownagainanditwillbemyfault.Panic was setting in. I dont do well in the heat, I told myself. Why am I here. Oh God.

A stunning, lithe woman took her place at the front of the class and greeted us. She said hi to the couple of newbies in particular (there were about 3). There were about 30 people at the class. I stood at the top of my mat and willed myself not to fall over, as she had just outed me as a newbie. And it began - no messing around, no warming up, just straight in there. Suddenly I was upside down. My vision started getting weird. Time began to expand and contract wildly. It all went a bit fear and loathing as I wondered 'how long have I been here? will this ever end?'. The teacher paced through the moves quickly - with no rest and no bullshit. I began to sweat.

I dont tend to sweat that much. Even with mega-cardio, I'll get a little bit sweaty if I'm killing it - but rarely. I'm a very un-sweaty person. This is genuinely the most I have ever sweated in my life. At one point the teacher said "this isnt going to last forever". I did not believe her.

About half way through the class, something completely fucked up happened. I was wrestling with myself the entire time wondering if I was going to die, panicking about needing water, trying not to pass out, sweating. Then, it happened. I was in downward dog, with a RIVER of sweat ACTUALLY FLOWING OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD. I have never seen this much sweat coming from anyone. And it hit me. I'm doing it. I thought I couldnt. I was afraid I would die. I was terrified. But I did it anyway. And now... I think... I was enjoying it! I sweated and pushed my was through the rest of the class, inelegantly twisting and contorting (as opposed to my friend Claire who is a true yogi, glistening gently and pretzeling into the most unimaginable positions (with a smile)... The class came to a close and I was SATURATED... like I'd been caught in a monsoon. My hair was stuck to my face, my clothes were drenched. I lay down on the mat and realised I had nothing with me to change into. Fuck. I stuck with the last few moments of breathing and the teacher opened the door. The breeze was 9 million kittens licking my face with their little sandpapery tongues. I was in heaven. I felt really proud that I hadnt panicked and ran away. Not only that - I was feeling amazing - light, refreshed, in a great mood - and ready for the next class. I was IN my body for the first time in a long time, and it felt incredible.

Next time I opted for a Bikram class and I enjoyed it a lot too - it was a lot less intense and in fact I think I enjoyed the intensity of the previous class. Bikram is more a test of endurance in the poses - you have to stick them out - whereas Vinyassa is more focussed on moving through the poses. I felt the teacher was a little less sympathetic in that class - she pointed me out a couple of times for not going fully enough into the poses despite me gesturing to her (in front of about 30 people) that I had an Achilles injury which stops me sometimes from going too deep into the poses or doing one leg poses as fully or for as long as I'd like. That was kind of off-putting and embarrassing - think they need to work on calling people out in class - but aside from that the workout itself was fantastic.

I've been 3 times and am definitely going again this week, for hot vinyassa flow this time. I cant recommend hot yoga enough if you really want to push yourself, if only for the absolute buzz you get afterwards... but just remember to bring a change of clothes......

http://www.inityoga.ie/